i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
