It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
