i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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