He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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