is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
