Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
