my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize