I met the friendliest cop last night
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
