return my video game
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
why do cheetos always look like penises
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize