i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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