Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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