It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
My vagina just recognized that song.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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