butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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