Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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