Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
My pussy is not your playground.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
