We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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