i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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