mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
