i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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