Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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