I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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