This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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