Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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