Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
