Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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