Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
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Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
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It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
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