i wish my penis had a tongue
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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