my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize