hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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