Dignity is for republicans.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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