I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
