Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
