Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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