Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
