I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
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