dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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