i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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