im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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