Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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