So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
this hospital has no fireball
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
