I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
