Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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