I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
this is an emotional support booty call
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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