What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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