one two three fourrrrnication!
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
