Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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