so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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