After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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