This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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