I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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