is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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