I think my vagina is haunted
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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