It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I want to fling myself into the sun
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