OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
