Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize