I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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