i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
