Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I think I just shit out all my problems.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
