I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Randomize
