Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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