Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
