And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize