If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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