Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
