White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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