your thong is hanging out like whoa
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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