He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
