i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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