my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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