So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
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He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
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She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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