tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize