that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
