wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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