i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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