girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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