Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
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does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
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I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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